Egocentric "Needs"

I always find it fascinating how we have umpteen reasons for quitting a relationship, but usually only one reason for staying..."love."

Unfortunately, we have 6 billion relative conceptual renditions of "love" which seems to indicate that we don't have a clue as to what love is, if it can be defined absolutely or merely remain as relative as anything else that eventually fades away.

How can we go in search of love, when we have nothing but a trail of abstract platitudes for which to follow?

Many often go from one body to another in hopes of finally discovering that elusive experience called "love." At first it seems to magically appear causing a psychological swoon of temporary insanity. The ego-self is no longer as important and, in the initial stages, the egocentric goal of self-preservation/actualization seems to evaporate, if only for a time.

Nevertheless, eventually you resume your usual egocentric orientation to reality and gradually come to the realization that his/her love is not equivalent to yours. Subsequently, you also come to realize that your “needs” are not being met and as every ego-self knows, not to have needs met is not to self-actualize.

So how rigidly are you attached to your “needs”? Since that may become the deciding factor on whether you stay or you go and on whether you extend or contract. This is because egoic “love” is a business exchange and to invest demands a return on that investment. What the ego-self wants in return is that its “needs” are met. Unmet needs.. mean an un-actualized ego-self.

Maybe you can both agree to acknowledge that you have different renditions of love and discard them completely. This leaves you both open to discover love and allow it to take you by 'surprise.' It may actually be something you’ve never contemplated (agree to discard your love concepts and this is probably guaranteed).

In fact, love may have absolutely not a damn thing to do with getting your needs met. Now unmet needs are no longer the reason to quit and discovering love is a reason to stay. 

Nevertheless, make no mistake, every relationship you quit is an assertion that you know what love is and the person you’re quitting doesn't…

…and that’s pretty damn arrogant of you, don’t you think?


Painting by Rebecca Amroian - "Dancing Alone, Together"